Being Double Standard

I have to admit sometimes, but rarely I am being double standard to my family. What I mean is there are times when I could throw tantrums at my family when they were showing concerns and asked me lots of questions on the issue that I face. But everytime after I did, I regretted it the very moment did it.

I always ask myself why I have to be double standard to the ones I love. If it were my friends who asked, I would have tell them things in a calm manner and when they do not understand I would patiently explain things to them. Even more so if that person were to be my girlfriend.

That's why I rarely throw my tantrums at my family. Because I understand that they are not the cause of my problem and they asked questions because they care and love me. When someone loves me, doesn't mean it gives me the right to throw the weight that I'm supporting on my shoulder onto them. Where else it should be the case where I'm able to share my weight with that person, even if it means he/she can only listen and cannot do anything about it. By just being there to listen to me is already the best gift.

I'm not perfect, so I still do the same mistake once in many many years. But I reminded myself everytime when I'm talking to my family or my love one at times when I had a shitty day, that these are the people whom I go to when the world seems to forsake me.

So think twice before we start shouting or feel annoyed when someone we care about very much asked how's our day at work or life on a bad day. If they are the people that you care enough to share your burden with, it means they are the same people whom you will regret for not appreciating them while they are around. If they are the people who stuck around with you through the darkest hour, don't they deserve more patience than what your friends deserve? It's not just to our family, but it should be to everyone that we love and care for, be it our spouse or partner.

Forgetful Human

Have you ever been in the situation where it might involves your work, friendship, relationship or family that made you realise that you have taken things for granted?  After talking to those involved you suddenly realise that you have forgotten how to be grateful for the little things people have done for you and things that you have in life. You realise that it's too late now, you have lose that thing you owned or person you love in life forever.

It's like a wake up call.  Then suddenly you felt that you got a tight slap on the face and determine to change things to become a better person.  You swore to yourself that you will not do something that you will regret in your life ever again.  You become very conscious and constantly keeping yourself in check and making sure you appreciate every moment in life that you are alive and be grateful of the people you love in your life. Don't we all do that?

Then weeks or months past.  Now you've forgotten what you set out to do. You are back to where you were again. When your friends ask why you are back to square one again and you would probably go to the extend to tell them this, "Fark off!  I don't give a damn on what you think.  I'm tired of trying to make people feel happy. I want to be happy myself."  You got so frustrated with your work, your life and whatever that is going on around you that put you so low in mood that you think by being grateful and appreciative is all about making sure others around you are happy, but not you.

Come on! Stop kidding yourself.  No matter how much shopping or self pampering spa or vacation you treat yourself to, you still feel something is amiss in your life.  It's like a hole that you keep trying to fill up with the money you spent on yourself and surround yourself with the so called surface friends, of which at the end of the day you still feel empty inside.

What you've forgotten is that, to begin with, it is not about making other people happy.  It is all about making sure that you don't take things for granted in life and live to regret it.  The fundamental thing is still about making yourself happy by being grateful and appreciative of your surroundings.  Then the vicious cycle repeat itself again when you lose something or someone important in life.

Human are forgetful.  The tough thing in life is not about finding your weaknesses or ways to turn yourself into a better person.  It is about being "consistent" at making yourself a better person.  Now sit down, think it through.  Slap yourself a few times if need to.  Are you that person?

I think at some point in life, we all are.  It is when we become "consistent" that we become "mature".