Mama said...

Something that I stumbled upon in FB that I would like to share...


媽媽這樣對出嫁的女兒說:
Māmā zhèyàng duì chūjià de nǚ'ér shuō:
Mama told her bride to be daughter as such:

媽媽說，生氣的時候不要吵架，可以不說話，不洗他衣服 ，但是，不要和他吵架。
Māmā shuō, shēngqì de shíhou bùyào chǎojià, kěyǐ bù shuōhuà, bù xǐ tā yīfú, dànshì, bùyào hé tā chǎojià.
Mama said, don't quarrel when you are angry, you can be silent, ignore the laundry, but do not quarrel with him.

媽媽說，和 男人 吵架了不要跑到外面去張揚，他向你邁進一步，你就向他走兩步。
Māmā shuō, hé nánrén chǎo jià liǎo bùyào pǎo dào wàimiàn qù zhāngyáng, tā xiàng nǐ mài jìnyībù, nǐ jiù xiàng tā zǒu liǎng bù.
Mama said, don't publicise to the world when you quarrel with your man, when he wants you to take 1 step towards him, you march 2 steps towards him instead.

媽媽說，家是 女人 的大本營，發生什麼事情都不要走。因為，回來路的很難。
Māmā shuō, jiā shì nǚrén de dàběnyíng, fāshēng shénme shìqíng dōu bùyào zǒu. Yīnwèi, huílái lù de hěn nán.
Mama said, home is a woman's safety port, do not walk away no matter what happen. This is because the road to return is tough.

媽媽說，兩個人在家不要老想著面子，兩個人過日子，面子很重要？那在外面怎麼 生活 ？
Māmā shuō, liǎng gèrén zàijiā bùyào lǎo xiǎngzhe miànzi, liǎng gèrén guòrìzi, miànzi hěn zhòngyào? Nà zài wàimiàn zěnme shēnghuó?
Mama said, a couple should not be egoistic towards each other. If ego is so important when you are living under the same roof, what will happen when you have to make a living out there?

媽媽說，不管一個男人多有錢，他還是希望可以看到乾乾淨淨的你在乾乾淨淨地家等他。
Māmā shuō, bùguǎn yīgè nánrén duō yǒu qián, tā háishì xīwàng kěyǐ kàn dào gān gānjìng jìng de nǐ zài gān gānjìng jìng de jiā děng tā.
Mama said, no matter how wealthy a man is, we would still yearn to see a pleasant you waiting for him in the your comfortable home.

媽媽說，好男人很多，他不會去抱別的女人。但是這種社會，很多壞女人會伸手去抱你的男人。
Māmā shuō, hǎo nánrén hěnduō, tā bù huì qù bào bié de nǚrén. Dànshì zhè zhǒng shèhuì, hěnduō huài nǚrén huì shēnshǒu qù bào nǐ de nánrén.
Mama said, there are plenty of good men out there. He may not go around hugging other girls. However in the current society, there are plenty of ill intention women who will reach out to hug your man.

媽媽說，女人一定要出去工作，不管錢賺得多或是少，工作就是自己人生價值的體現。你一直在家，男人有機會在你面前說：“是我在養你。”
Māmā shuō, nǚrén yīdìng yào chūqù gōngzuò, bùguǎn qián zhuàn de duō huò shì shǎo, gōngzuò jiùshì zìjǐ rénshēng jiàzhí de tǐxiàn. Nǐ yīzhí zàijiā, nánrén yǒu jīhuì zài nǐ miànqián shuō:“Shì wǒ zài yǎng nǐ.”
Mama said, woman should have her own career. No matter how much you earn, to career is a reflection of the life value. If you always staying at home, your man has the chance say, "It is I who are providing for you."

媽媽說，你在外面工作，家裏的事情再忙也要做，不然花自己的錢請個鐘點工。家裏的事情一定要好好做，小孩也要好好教。
Māmā shuō, nǐ zài wàimiàn gōngzuò, jiā lǐ de shìqíng zài máng yě yào zuò, bùrán huā zìjǐ de qián qǐng gè zhōngdiǎngōng. Jiā lǐ de shìqíng yīdìng yào hǎohǎo zuò, xiǎohái yě yào hǎohǎo jiào.
Mama said, you should not neglect the house chores no matter how occupied you are with your career, otherwise spend money on a part-time cleaner. House chores should be well taken care of and children should be well taught and mannered.

媽媽說，他為你做了意想不到的事情，你可以感動，可以誇獎，千萬不要嘲諷地說“太陽從西邊出來了啊”，如果這樣，以後他不會為你做任何事情。
Māmā shuō, tā wèi nǐ zuòle yì xiǎngbùdào de shìqíng, nǐ kěyǐ gǎndòng, kěyǐ kuājiǎng, qiānwàn bùyào cháofèng de shuō “tàiyáng cóng xībian chūláile a”, rúguǒ zhèyàng, yǐhòu tā bù huì wèi nǐ zuò rènhé shìqíng.
Mama said, be touched and praise him when he surprise you with something pleasant. Do not sneer and say "the sun must be rising from the west today". If that's what you said, he will never do anything for you again.

媽媽說，誰都不是誰的另一半，你的想法不說出來誰會瞭解？需要什麼感受，討厭什麼事情，你告訴別人，別人才會懂。
Māmā shuō, shuí dōu bùshì shuí de lìng yībàn, nǐ de xiǎngfǎ bù shuō chūlái shuí huì liǎojiě? Xūyào shénme gǎnshòu, tǎoyàn shénme shìqíng, nǐ gàosu biérén, bié réncái huì dǒng.
Mama said, no one is literally the other's better half, when you don't talk about your thoughts no one will understand. Others will know only if you tell them the type of expression you need and things that you don't like.

媽媽說，他的父母也是你的父母，就算他的父母對你不是很好，你也要對他們好。因為他們是他的父母。
Māmā shuō, tā de fùmǔ yěshì nǐ de fùmǔ, jiùsuàn tā de fùmǔ duì nǐ bùshì hěn hǎo, nǐ yě yào duì tāmen hǎo. Yīnwèi tāmen shì tā de fùmǔ.
Mama said, his parents are your parents too. You have to treat his parents with respect no matter how they mistreat you. This is because they are his parents.

媽媽說，決定和什麼人在一起了，就不要去埋怨苦日子，既然你選擇了他，就不要去埋怨他。
Māmā shuō, juédìng hé shénme rén zài yīqǐle, jiù bùyào qù mányuàn kǔ rìzi, jìrán nǐ xuǎnzéle tā, jiù bùyào qù mányuàn tā.
Mama said, once you have decided who you want to spend your life with do not complain about a tough life. Since you have made your decision do not grumble at him.

媽媽說，那麼有錢有什麼用，人呢？人在哪里？
Māmā shuō, nàme yǒu qián yǒu shé me yòng, rén ne? Rén zài nǎlǐ?
Mama said, so what if he is wealthy? Where is he?

媽媽說，我們這輩子能花多少錢？不要買什麼奢侈品，過得 幸福 就好。
Māmā shuō, wǒmen zhè bèi zǐ néng huā duōshǎo qián? Bù yāo mǎi shénme shēchǐ pǐn,guò de xìngfú jiù hǎo.
Mama said, how much can we spend in a whole lifetime? Live a blessed and happy life is what you need, not a luxurious material life.

媽媽說，不要唬小孩“媽媽不要你”，不要生氣地時候把小孩推出門，如果他真的不見了，你會很痛苦。
Māmā shuō, bùyào hu xiǎohái “māmā bùyào nǐ”, bùyào shēngqì dì shíhou bǎ xiǎohái tuīchū mén, rúguǒ tā zhēn de bùjiànle, nǐ huì hěn tòngkǔ.
Mama said, do not threaten your kids with "I don't want you anymore". Do not push him out the door when you are furious of the things they do. This is because you will be in pain if you really lose them.

媽媽說，不要打小孩，更不要在外面打。
Māmā shuō, bùyào dǎ xiǎohái, gèng bùyào zài wàimiàn dǎ.
Mama said, do not use physical punishment on your kids. Worse still to do it in public.

媽媽說，打打殺殺的愛很刺激，也很浪漫。但是，不現實。普通就好。
Māmā shuō, dǎ dǎ shā shā de ài hěn cìjī, yě hěn làngmàn. Dànshì, bù xiànshí. Pǔtōng jiù hǎo.
Mama said, dramatic relationship is exciting and romantic. However it is unrealistic. Ordinary one will do.

媽媽說，什麼都是緣分。
Māmā shuō, shénme dōu shì yuánfèn.
Mama said, it is fate that brings people together.

媽媽說，生命無常，要好好珍惜每一天。
Māmā shuō, shēngmìng wúcháng, yào hǎohǎo zhēnxī měi yītiān.
Mama said, treasure everyday because life is fickle and fragile.

30 Things to Start/Stop Doing to Yourself

Received another good reading from a friend recently. 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself and 30 Things to Start Doing.

Everything is very true. I have had numerous friends who talked to me over time about life in every aspect. This read really sums it all on the advice I always gave them. Have a read on the links.

I agree with every single piece of it, but I will quote a few that I love most from the "Things to Stop".

Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.

Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough. But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past. You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.

Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things. The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.

Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen. Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story. If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.

Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life. Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

And for the "Things to Start", I love these:

Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.

Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.

Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.

Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.

Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.

Regrets

This is something I saw and thought I would share. These are definitely the reasons why I'm trying my best to take risks in life. Enjoy the read.

Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives. People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality.

I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
This was the most common regret of all. When people realize that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.
This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never
became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a
result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly, in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.
Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved. Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.

It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip. But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical
details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end.
That is all that remains in the final weeks, love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.
This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have silliness in their life again. When you are on your deathbed, what  others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again, long before you are dying.

Life is a choice. It is YOUR life. Choose consciously, choose wisely, choose honestly. Choose happiness.