Cloudy, but no rain

Woke up this morning, it was so cloudy. A sad morning, kind of feelings. Furthermore, listen to Yo-Yo Ma's music at work (played by Su Chin), although it's really soothing, but a 'lil bit of saddening.

Anyhow, it feels like, "Erm... Just another day at work". And now... the sky is all shiny and glaring again. Spent the weekend mostly at home. It was so relaxing. Sometimes, just do nothing at all with a great company once in a while is sooooo... good. I think that's what we call, "Quality Time".

Self-demotivated

It's been a while since last blog. Su Chin has only recently (about 2 days ago) read the blog and broke out smiling so loudly. She said she can't believe I'm so quantitative till that I can graph out my morale level in lines. LOL... I think I can better express myself in pictures than in words most of the time. After all, "Pictures speaks a thousand words" (if I didn't get it wrong).

Herm... Got tonnes of work in my hands. Finish one of them this morning and lose my momentum right away after that. Maybe because I know that even if I finish the others, my boss will not have the time to read or correct them through. Means it's not critical, at least it makes me feel the sense of urgency is not there.

Ohh... Chinese New Year is coming!!! Hope this will be a good chance for me to realign my goals and my perspective a bit. Got 1 week of leave for it (in case some who don't know, YES!!! I don't have public holiday working in this company).

Alright, I don't even know what to write right now. Writing blog for the sake of passing time and lazing off from work. Aihh... Sounds so pathetic. Anyway, Happy Chinese New Year everyone....Dong.. dong dong dong chiang... Dong.. dong dong dong chiang...

Out of business

I'm not into business, so not really out of business. It's just my brain that is out. I don't seems to find the motivation I require to boost myself forward. It's just like driving constantly at 90 km/h on a highway.

The morale level I used to have:
This was the morale I used to have when I first join the department. Came in early of the day, not so productive, but gradually gaining momentum until lunch time. Once had my lunch, still trying to pick up the momentum but when time hit 5pm, my productivity is gaining the greatest momentum. Hence, from 5pm till 7pm, I'm almost like a sports car that can hit 120 km/h in 10 secs.

The morale level I have now:
Now, this is my morale at work. Came in, feeling malas to work. Try my very best to pick up momentum to work, but still it only increase very very slowly. Thought to myself, maybe after a nice and fulfilling lunch, I can push myself forward and do better. But it's still the same. From the "BEFORE" acceleration of 120 km/h in 10 secs, I have dropped to my current speed limit of 90 km/h in 2880 secs (8 hours) and no more than that.

Why is it like that? I don't know. Thinking of a solution to buckle up my work performance itself has slowly accummulate a lot of invisible stress and pressure on myself. Afterall, I'm being paid to perform at my best. And when I can't, I have to find a solution to it. That's why I'm struggling against myself right now. I know Su Chin and my boss is trying to solve this with me, but even I myself don't know the answer. It still feel good after discussing with Su Chin though. Eventhough not much was achieved, but at least I have a little little bit of idea.
Hopefully my Chinese New Year holiday will help me reboot my brain and find the motivation to my work. Please feel free to drop some comments if any of you have any clue on this kind of symptom...