Friday, January 06, 2006

Out of business

I'm not into business, so not really out of business. It's just my brain that is out. I don't seems to find the motivation I require to boost myself forward. It's just like driving constantly at 90 km/h on a highway.


The morale level I used to have:
This was the morale I used to have when I first join the department. Came in early of the day, not so productive, but gradually gaining momentum until lunch time. Once had my lunch, still trying to pick up the momentum but when time hit 5pm, my productivity is gaining the greatest momentum. Hence, from 5pm till 7pm, I'm almost like a sports car that can hit 120 km/h in 10 secs.


The morale level I have now:
Now, this is my morale at work. Came in, feeling malas to work. Try my very best to pick up momentum to work, but still it only increase very very slowly. Thought to myself, maybe after a nice and fulfilling lunch, I can push myself forward and do better. But it's still the same. From the "BEFORE" acceleration of 120 km/h in 10 secs, I have dropped to my current speed limit of 90 km/h in 2880 secs (8 hours) and no more than that.


Why is it like that? I don't know. Thinking of a solution to buckle up my work performance itself has slowly accummulate a lot of invisible stress and pressure on myself. Afterall, I'm being paid to perform at my best. And when I can't, I have to find a solution to it. That's why I'm struggling against myself right now. I know Su Chin and my boss is trying to solve this with me, but even I myself don't know the answer. It still feel good after discussing with Su Chin though. Eventhough not much was achieved, but at least I have a little little bit of idea.
Hopefully my Chinese New Year holiday will help me reboot my brain and find the motivation to my work. Please feel free to drop some comments if any of you have any clue on this kind of symptom...

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