Another "Believes" Philosophy of mine

Call me old fashioned, but I believe when you are in love, you should be unselfish enough to give your love one what they want.  Even if that means you have to let go.  I once told a person that I love, if she does not want my existence in her life I would let go, all I can wish for is to see her happy with someone who truly cherish and appreciate her for who she is.  To love is not to own.

I also believe for two person to be together in a relationship is never easy.  They will have to fight.  Fight against all odds.  Fight against personal egos.  Fight against environmental changes.  Fight against personality changes.  Fight against complacency.  Fight against distrust.  Fight against doubt.  Fight against negative thoughts.
To sum it all, it's a fight to be together and to love each other until the day they grow old together.

Complacency is where it start?

Take a view at this meaningful video. Thanks SL for sharing. Just want to share my thoughts on the different perspective that can be derived from the short story.


While it is easier to look at this in a negative way of how all/most relationships would end up to be and blame oneself and uses this as an excuse for falling into the vicious cycle of complacency, I would rather look at it from the positive perspective and a wake up call on how to make the right decision at stage 4 (work on the comfort and grow with it together or allow it to create distance).  Why let a relationship gets into a complacent state if you know complacency is going to destroy it?


If it is a conscious understanding that oneself will take things for granted and become complacent, why can't he/she make the right decision by saying, 
"Ok, this is a greatest man/woman in my life.  Everyday I'm going to wake up and thank God that I have him/her in my life.  When life gets tough, we talk it through and I must always remember the things that made him/her the greatest person in my life and why I love this person so much to begin with.  I must remember that a relationship is not a contest. There's no prize for winning an argument or coming out on top.  When it comes to my love one, my ego can go into the closet.  Everything he/she does for me is not compulsory, he/she can choose not to do it, but still did it only because he/she loves me.  I am thankful for them even just by being there because that takes effort too".


Human naturally clings on to what they "want" to believe because it's easier to remain the same and blame everything else that's going on; on the environment, change of lifestyle or a growth in personality.  Paradigm shift is not easy, but it's inevitable.  One can choose to blame his/her own life and personality for what had happened.  Or he/she can choose to learn from his/her mistakes and become a better person.


People can be categorised as such;

- don't know what happened
- watch as things happen, or
- make things happen


It's your choice of life... You have to decide!

Nostalgia

After 12 years, our role has reversed.  Today I became the person that stood by and watch the coach pull away, while 12 years ago I was the person sitting inside the coach.  Life always works out in the most miraculous way. Be it karma, be it a second chance or be it a torture, life's short.  Let's enjoy the process and for once forget about the result.

Believe

Since I come to maturity, I always believe it is always essential that we treat people nicely and kindly.  Some people can be nasty, some can be selfish and take advantage of my kindness.  Some just does not know it is a privilege to be treated kindly and continue to take things for granted and absorb whatever benefit comes out of it.  But I believe good will come out of it one day.  It takes an extra little effort to make a difference in a other's life.  And when I see the appreciation or whatever problem/issue they walked out from their life happily with my help, that's the biggest reward I could ask for.

This believe does worn me out some times.  It worn me out when my kindness got taken for granted.  It worn me out when I have to give to the point of breaking.  It worn me out when there's no one there to understand why I do what I do.  It worn me out most when I could not find someone that could provide me a safe haven to seek peace and shelter when I'm tired.

I do feel pain sometimes.  When I could not find a shelter.  It also makes me rethink decisions that I've made.  But I have yet to regret any of the decision, for they are made with serious considerations.  If loneliness is how my life pan out to be, so be it....  Hopefully the fulfillments of assisting others to gain happiness is enough to keep my believe going.

For who I am and who I will ever be.  I feel worn now....

Baggage

I've just finished watching an episode in the "How I Met Your Mother Season 5".  It's the Episode 23 titled "The Wedding Bride".  This episode talked about baggages in life. Everyone has baggage(s) in life, including myself.  And mine recently is all about the complications from the walk out of a 5-year relationship, which is almost resolved by now.  There will definitely be bits and pieces that will drag on for years to come none the less.

You see, everyone has got some baggages.  It's part of life. But like everything else, it's easier when someone gives you a hand with it.  And I hope someday I can find that someone that is willing to share the weight on my shoulder and eventually leave the baggage behind.

Armageddon

Recently some friends started to talk to me about 2012.  Like the movie itself, end of the world in 2012 as written in bibles and some ancient scripture as well.  Weird this conversation comes from friends who are not really the religious type, but they kind of believe it will happen.  That is because of the sign that has been written in the bibles for years before and started to happen in recent years.  First sign is when the sea turns black, this happened at US when the fossil oil drill leaked.  Then the second sign was the Tsunami in Japan.

My natural reaction to my friends was, "I don't know whether it will really happen and when will it be, but if it does, I have already make sure I have live everyday of my life as if tomorrow is the end of the world. Do things that I want to do, say things that I want to say, love the people that I love like there's no tomorrow and to tell the people I love, that I love them".

Have you ever think about what are you going to do now if tomorrow is the end of the world?

Some great quotes

Got a chain mail from a friend.  I never believe in the so called disastrous event that would happen if the chain mail is not forwarded.  Anyhow, the quote in this so-called "Dalai Lama's Mantra for 2010" is really good, so I decided to post it here.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk
2. When you lose, don't lose lesson
3. Follow the 3 Rs
1. Respect for self
2. Respect for others, and
3. Responsibility for all your actions
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly
6. Don't let a little dispute injure a great relationship
7. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it
8. Spend some time alone every day
9. Open your arms to change, but don't give up your values
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll be able to enjoy it a second time
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don't bring up the past
14. Share your knowledge. It is a way to achieve immortality
15. Be gentle with the Earth
16. Once a year, go some place you've never been before
17. Remember the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it
19. Approach love and cooking with reckless abandon

Something about myself

Like anyone else, I dreaded to face problems and issues in life.  Be it laziness to do chores, work or problem solving.  Be it making the only hard decision there is available to me in various situations.  Be it doing bad for the sake of good.

However, I will eventually face my laziness, making the difficult decision and behave firmly to people.  Another philosophy of my life, if I don't face it today, I will still have to face it some day.  Yah, people will say, "Hell, I might as well leave it there and face it later."  In this case, later will never come.  This is because human will think, "Yah, no this time.  I will deal with it later (again)."  And without knowing, our lives has past us by and some of us have to take our regrets to the grave.

Disclaimer: This is just about myself. Anyone can disagree with me. It doesn't matter because everyone is unique.