Self-motivation required

Had been wanting to write something about my working experience in the office, but just don't know how to start.

I had been feeling really down lately. I don't know why. I'm not sure whether it's because of the salary, the bonus or the future of my career? No matter what it is, it's really bothering me this much. I want to perform with my maximum capability, but I just can't find the boost. I have been sitting down and staring at the monitor thinking, "What the hell? Why can't I just work with the force that I used to have?"

I think of it for so long now. I might not have the salary and bonus to give me the push, but I still have the learning experience to do it. However, it don't seems to be convincing me at all. Not that I don't trust how valuable the experience I will gain here, it's just that it don't seems to be able to convince me that it's valuable. My sense is that it's going to be so valuable in the future, but my guts is telling me, "No, this is the limit. It's time to move on."

I'm struggling so much with this. The more I try to find some sense to it, the more I got demotivated. Till the extent that I have to go online to look for some inspiring and motivating quotes to motivate myself. Yet it still doesn't help. And I can sense the patience that my colleagues and boss is wearing off. This is not something I enjoy as well. It's really frustrating, so frustrating.

Conclusion: I'm lost. No one knows how to help me. I don't know why. No one knows as well. I'm really appreciative of my colleagues, boss and sweetie who tried to help. I will keep trying hard to get my head out of this difficult time. Thank you all.