I couldn't agree more with these. However, I think the core of this all should be patience. If you have decided to throw yourself into a relationship and expose your vulnerability to that someone you love, why can't you give that person the benefit of the doubt and be patient with him/her?
Many times we jump into conclusion and exploded into a fit of rage before even letting the opposite party finish explaining. This is why I think point #1 couldn't have put in a better context.
1. Misunderstandings are inevitable.
Misunderstandings are going to happen. If you take your partner’s words one way, then learn they meant something totally different, don’t punish them. Let it go. Bringing it up all the time is only going to bruise the relationship and cause communication problems later. Sometimes what you say or do will be taken the wrong way, and you’ll get frustrated that your partner doesn’t understand. Take a step back and realize it’s not a big deal. Misunderstandings are made to be swept under the rug because they’re so minor. They only become problems if you let them grow bigger and mean more in the scope of your relationship. Be laid back and forgive misunderstandings.
No 2 persons are born the same. Even twins are different behaviourally and emotionally. There should be no reason that we expect our partners to behave or feel the same as we do. Hey, even our knowledge of things are different. It is everyone's right voice out his/her opinion, just the same as the rights to be respected. When there's a misunderstanding or understanding cannot be reached, neither raising voices, showing agitation or annoyance nor lecturing your partner will provide an understanding. Matter of fact it only makes the partner recluse or worse case it will only make he/she retaliate with more nasty response.
2. Learn to trust them.
You have to trust your partner. Why would you share your life with someone when you think they’re doing something wrong every time you turn your back? If you don’t trust your partner to be faithful, honest, caring, or anything else, then you’re not in a good relationship. The best relationships begin with a deep trust, and even if problems come up (and they will!), the trust is strong enough to keep you together.
3. Let yourselves miss each other.
You’re in love, so you want to be together all the time! It’s so fun to cuddle all night and be together all day, but when will you have time to experience different things? When you go to separate workplaces or schools, you experience things that will give you something to talk about later. When you go out with your friends and your partner spends time with theirs, you have time and space to yourself and come back to each other refreshed. You have a chance to miss each other, and it helps you really understand the value of your relationship. Missing someone is great because getting to see them after that period will make you so happy and so sure of your relationship.
4. Encourage growth and change.
In a good relationship, both partners are encouraged to grow and change. You have one life to live – you should explore it to the fullest! If you want to quit your job and go back to school, your partner should support you. If you want to try something new or go back to something old, you should find support in your relationship. And you should give this support in return. Encourage your partner to explore hobbies and interests and meet new people. If you want your partner to stay the same, you’re going to have a very boring life together.
5. Compromising doesn’t mean you’re weak.
Compromising doesn’t mean “giving in.” It doesn’t mean that you’ve lost the fight. In fact, it’s the opposite. Do you know how hard it is to compromise sometimes? You want your way because it sounds right and makes sense to you. Your partner is way off base with their suggestions. Take a step back and look at the argument diplomatically. What’s the logical conclusion? If your partner is right, don’t be afraid to say so. Accept their way, or modify both of your solutions to be half and half. The important thing is not getting your way, it’s staying in your relationship and helping it grow. Compromising will definitely help your relationship grow.
It's always hard to admit to things that we had done or opinionated wrongly. As couples spent more time together, it's only get tougher. But this is the small thing that makes a different. Sometimes saying sorry doesn't mean you are the one at wrong, but you are willing to compromise and pretend to be wrong because your partner is worth more than being on the winning side of a disagreement.
6. Admit your weaknesses.
Your partner doesn’t expect you to be a superhero, and hopefully you don’t expect that of them! We’re all human; we all have flaws. It’s ok to let these show. In fact, to have a stable, serious relationship, you need to let your weaknesses be known. Your partner will be more sensitive to things that bother you, and can help build you up in areas where you need some help.
7. Sometimes you can only accept things, not fix them.
People have baggage. You have some. Your partner has some. Can you go back and erase all of this? Nope! You’re stuck with it, and have to learn to deal with it. Some things are easier to get over than others, but the reality is that sometimes, you can’t fix things. You can’t make problems go away. You have to accept them and get over them and move on, or else your relationship will crumble.
Problems exist everywhere and on everything. At work, most problems can be fixed, but still when it comes to human emotion like customer experience, not all problems can be solved. What more when it comes to relationship when the parties involved are both human. It is learning to let go and understand sometimes the good outweigh the bad.
8. Forgive quickly and truly.
Whenever you have a fight, don’t worry about who wins or who loses. Learn from the fight – from what was said as much as from how it was resolved. Once you learn from a fight, you can apply that lesson to your relationship to avoid trouble later. That’s all well and good, but you’re not done! Forgive your partner! Forgive yourself. The fight is over, you’re past it, now let it go. Never hold anything against your partner because the resentment will build until you don’t want to be with them.
9. Never expect anything.
Don’t expect your partner to read your mind, or to bring you breakfast in bed, or to offer to wash the dishes. It’s not going to happen. You can’t expect anything from anyone – you have to make it known. Communicate. Make sure your partner knows what you expect from the relationship, as well as your opinions on a wide variety of issues. This will help them act considerate towards you, but still – don’t expect anything!
10. Show your feelings.
The worst thing you can do in a relationship is play games. Don’t tease your partner; don’t “reward” good deeds with love and affection. You have to make sure your partner always feels loved. You can be happy with them or be mad at them – it doesn’t matter – they just need to feel loved. They need to know your feelings in the moment as well, don’t get me wrong. But make sure you’re showing your feelings in a way that they won’t be misunderstood (back to #1!).
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